Sam Gimbel

Tech, Beer, and Strange Thoughts.

Anger

Someone asked me why I'm so angry recently. The question was warranted, given the situation. Let me clear it up for you.

I'm angry because of the way we treat our fellow human beings. Because of the promises we make to children that only apply to some. Because as a white male with a lot of privilege I still feel helpless when confronted with the enormity of the inequity, violence, and cruelty that is committed--systemically--by humans against other humans on a daily basis.

I'm angry because the world is literally falling apart, and there are still those who deny it's possible for science to exist. I'm angry because these same people hold us hostage for their own benefit, and the system we've opted into supports it as a matter of course.

I'm angry because people I love have had their lives taken from them without reason or cause due to the violent and unhealthy masculinity we teach our young men. And I'm angry that I am frequently dismissed as weak for practicing a different way of being male. One that's only 10-15 degrees off from mainstream, and is still unacceptable.

I'm angry because there are so many people so much more vulnerable than myself whose pain and suffering occurs right under my nose and I walk around every day with the ability to ignore it and go on with my day. I'm angry that millions of Americans lost their homes in 2015 and the worst thing that I go through is waiting an extra five minutes for the subway on a rainy day.

I'm angry at myself for being miserable in social situations and seemingly incapable of being happy and living for the moment. I'm angry that I can't give those around me the love and happiness they deserve, and for seeing myself as a martyr and pariah when that's not the case.

That's why I'm angry. But I get up every day, and I try to make things a little less awful by the time I go to bed that night. I'm not afraid of my anger, or of what it says about me or my convictions. I don't let it control me. My anger fuels a better tomorrow. How are you using your own anger? I bet you have some. What's it say about you?